I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..