Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man

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(954): View more from Florida

I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.

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(407): View more from Florida

Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(907): View more from Alaska

Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

were you high?

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

When?

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

Actually just blanket yes to that question

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...

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(206): View more from Washington

I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible

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