Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.

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(213): she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down. http://tfl.nu/is1d

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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.

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(303): I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit. http://tfl.nu/klcc

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(415): View more from California

I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

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(415): I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea. http://tfl.nu/t4nr

Replies (32) Good night (885) Bad night (4016) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?

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(303): So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!? http://tfl.nu/9p3z

Replies (17) Good night (673) Bad night (2358) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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(334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv

Replies (14) Good night (4809) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.

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(270): Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience. http://tfl.nu/d64j

Replies (3) Good night (3955) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does

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(415): I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/67y4

Replies (10) Good night (2920) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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(360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn

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(817): View more from Texas

I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.

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(817): I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar. http://tfl.nu/kkdj

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

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(610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh

Replies (6) Good night (2361) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted

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(512): I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted http://tfl.nu/8clw

Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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(760): I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable. http://tfl.nu/xt8c

Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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(719): View more from Colorado

And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

(607): View more from New York

I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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(719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz

Replies (2) Good night (1614) Bad night (303)
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(325): View more from Texas

My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious

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(325): My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious http://tfl.nu/543t

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(425): View more from Washington

I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.

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(425): I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red. http://tfl.nu/gzxu

Replies (8) Good night (662) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

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