we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize