So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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