dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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