She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize