Can i not drive my cunt home
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
