she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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