32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
