And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
