Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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