I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
