You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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