I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
In America we eat man semen.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
