What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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