don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
