I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
