Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
