You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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