Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
