He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
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Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.