Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time