How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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