you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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