conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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