Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
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This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.