I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.