it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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