how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
