Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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