Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
