I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
