I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
