So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
