God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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