ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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