So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
