maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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