I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please