wrigley field is MILF paradise
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap