Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
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You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he had hair everywhere except his balls
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?