So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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