You surviving the open bar?
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The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This is the high leading the old right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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