P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize