is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
