why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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