in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
