I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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i drank out of a bidet.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Im part way to drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize