do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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