I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
