This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
