You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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