you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
