if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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