Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
