he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this just has baby written all over it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
