just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
