I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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