Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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