You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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