just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
