Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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