Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
