i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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